Find references to files, recursively - bash

Question

In a project where XML/JS/Java files can contain references to other such files, I'd like to be able to have a quick overview of what has to be carefully checked, when one file has been updated.
So, it means I need to eventually have a look at all files referencing the modified one, and all files referencing files which refer to the modified one, etc. (recursively on matched files).
For one level, it's quite simple:
grep -E -l -o --include=*.{xml,js,java} -r "$FILE" . | xargs -n 1 basename
But how can I automate that to match (grand-(grand-))parents?
And how can that be, maybe, made more readable? For example, with a tree structure?
For example, if the file that interests me is called modified.js...
show-referring-files-to modified.js
... I could wish such an output:
some-file-with-ref-to-modified.xml
|__ a-file-referring-to-some-file-with-ref-to-modified.js
another-one-with-ref-to-modified.xml
|__ a-file-referring-to-another-one-with-ref-to-modified.js
|__ a-grand-parent-file-having-ref-to-ref-file.xml
|__ another-file-referring-to-another-one-with-ref-to-modified.js
or any other output (even flat) which allows for quickly checking which files are potentially impacted by a change.
UPDATE -- Results of current proposed answer:
ahmsff.js
|__ahmsff.xml
| |__ahmsd.js
| | |__ahmsd.xml
| | | |__ahmst.xml
| | | | |__BESH.java
| |__ahru.js
| | |__ahru.xml
| | | |__ahrut.xml
| | | | |__ashrba.js
| | | | | |__ashrba.xml
| | | | | | |__STR.java
| | |__ahrufrp.xml
| | | |__ahru.js
| | | | |__ahru.xml
| | | | | |__ahrut.xml
| | | | | | |__ashrba.js
| | | | | | | |__ashrba.xml
| | | | | | | | |__STR.java
| | | | |__ahrufrp.xml
| | | | | |__ahru.js
| | | | | | |__ahru.xml
| | | | | | | |__ahrut.xml
| | | | | | | | |__ashrba.js
| | | | | | | | | |__ashrba.xml
| | | | | | | | | | |__STR.java
| | | | | | |__ahrufrp.xml
(...)

Answer 1

I'd use a shell function (for the recursion) inside an shell script:
Assuming the filenames are unique have no characters that need escaping in them:
File: /usr/local/bin/show-referring-files-to
#!/bin/sh
get_references() {
grep -F -l --include=*.{xml,js,java} -r "$1" . | grep -v "$3" | while read -r subfile; do
#read each line of the grep result into the variable subfile
subfile="$(basename "$subfile")"
echo "$2""$subfile"
get_references "$subfile" ' '"$2" "$3"'\|'"$subfile"
done
}
while test $# -gt 0; do
#loop so more than one file can be given as argument to this script
echo "$1"
get_references "$1" '|__' "$1"
shift
done
There still are lots of performance enhancements possible.
Edit: Added $3 to prevent infinite-loop.